134 lines
4.5 KiB
Markdown
134 lines
4.5 KiB
Markdown
# SnekTech Discount Party Pack
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Are you tired of cheaply manufactured space-age trash churned out by
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the Union Aerospace Corporation? Tired of the same identical piece of
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equipment kludged together with correct tolerances and specifications?
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Looking for a more hand-crafted, artisian tool, harkening back to a
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more civilized time? Want a real change to remind you of better days?
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Introducing the SnekTech Discount Party Pack! A pack of three
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hand-made, finely crafted pieces of equipment, designed to keep YOU
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alive on ANY budget!
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You can tell the quality difference! Our equipment has up to THREE
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TIMES as many layers of duct tape as the UAC's competing equivalent,
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forming a sturdier, tougher seal than any so-called "actual
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well-funded machine shop" could ever hope to achieve.
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## Gretchen Counter
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SnekTech is on the bleeding edge of developing modern solutions for
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modern day problems. What is easily the biggest one of those modern
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problems? FRAG ENERGY.
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That's right. The stuff floating around in the air, causing your bad
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acne, bad luck, and a strange itchy sensation. It also resurrects the
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dead into horrible monsters.
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This revolutionary device can help YOU limit your FRAG ENERGY
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exposure.
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Sustainably built from recycled Geiger Counters.
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Takes one standard battery.
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**WARNING**: This product can expose you to chemicals including
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asbestos, lead, and previously-resurrected human brain matter, which
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are known to the State of California to cause cancer or birth defects
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or other reproductive harm.
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### How to use
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Loadout code: kgc
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Use the Gretchen Counter as an inventory item.
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Use the on/off switch (**Fire**) to activate or deactivate the device.
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It will continue to operate as long as it has a battery charge, even
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if it leaves your possession.
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The battery may be accessed (**Unload**/**Reload**) by removing the
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rear battery bay panel. *May exhibit erratic behavior if used with a
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low battery.*
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## Wiring Bypass Kit
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Have you ever been stuck in Hell because you accidentally blew up a
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switch to an important locked door?
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Couldn't leave the UAC HQ after giving your two weeks in the form of
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too much heavy ordnance, because you broke the elevator?
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Can't make it through that broken teleporter to the sweet, sweet
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freedom of the end of the level?
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Well, have I got the solution for YOU!
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**Kiri's Discount Wiring Bypass Kit!**
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Temporarily restore power to broken electronics (or creepy hellish
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teleporter alien magic things) with this handy dandy kit.
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Just use this ~~stud finder~~ Wiring Fault Detection Unit to find the
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location of a broken ~~linedef~~ internal mechanism, and use the
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accompanying TURBO WIRE CUTTER 9000 brand wire strippers, along with a
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standard battery, some electrical tape, some wire, and flagrant
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disregard for personal safety, and you can make that broken teleporter
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into your very own ~~teleporter accident~~ functioning teleporter!
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(Batteries NOT included.)
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### How to use
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Loadout code: jmp
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Use the Wiring Bypass Kit item as an inventory item. Approach a broken
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switch, teleporter, or other mechanism, and aim the device at the area
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of the breakage. It may take a moment to find a repairable fault.
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The Wiring Fault Detection Unit has three LEDs indicating the
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detection status:
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- Red: There is a broken mechanism, that can be repaired.
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- Green: Everything is functioning as implemented.
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- Yellow: Not close enough to make a determination. Approach the
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mechanism.
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The LCD indicator can detect the exact nature of the faulty mechanism.
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See appendix D for a list of codes.
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Once a faulty mechanism has been located, you may attach (**Fire**) a
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charged battery to the mechanism to temporarily restore some
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functionality to it.
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Note: Some mechanisms cannot be repaired through simple wiring bypass,
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such as doors or elevators, if the damage is on the mechanism itself,
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instead of a switch or other remote activator.
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TODO: Remove any language not corporate-aligned, such as "teleporter
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accident", "mechanism", and "Green".
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### Appendix D
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Appendix D is unavailable in the Kiri's Discount Wiring Bypass Kit
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manual. To obtain a copy of appendix D, please purchase a subscription
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to Kiri's Discount Wiring Bypass Kit: Professional Edition.
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## Cursed Cacodemon Plushie
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Some random junk we found in the bin behind SnekTech HQ. Give it to
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your kid or something as a gift.
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Caution: May bite.
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### How to use
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Loadout code: kac
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