SnekTech Discount Party Pack

Are you tired of cheaply manufactured space-age trash churned out by the Union Aerospace Corporation? Tired of the same identical piece of equipment kludged together with correct tolerances and specifications? Looking for a more hand-crafted, artisian tool, harkening back to a more civilized time? Want a real change to remind you of better days?

Introducing the SnekTech Discount Party Pack! A pack of three hand-made, finely crafted pieces of equipment, designed to keep YOU alive on ANY budget!

You can tell the quality difference! Our equipment has up to THREE TIMES as many layers of duct tape as the UAC's competing equivalent, forming a sturdier, tougher seal than any so-called "actual well-funded machine shop" could ever hope to achieve.

Kiri's Gretchen Counter

SnekTech is on the bleeding edge of developing modern solutions for modern day problems. What is easily the biggest one of those modern problems? FRAG ENERGY.

That's right. The stuff floating around in the air, causing your bad acne, bad luck, and a strange itchy sensation. It also resurrects the dead into horrible monsters.

This revolutionary device can help YOU limit your FRAG ENERGY exposure.

Sustainably built from recycled Geiger Counters.

Takes one standard battery.

WARNING: This product can expose you to chemicals including asbestos, lead, and previously-resurrected human brain matter, which are known to the State of California to cause cancer or birth defects or other reproductive harm.

How to use

Loadout code: kgc

Use the Gretchen Counter as an inventory item.

Use the on/off switch (Fire) to activate or deactivate the device. It will continue to operate as long as it has a battery charge, even if it leaves your possession.

The battery may be accessed (Unload/Reload) by removing the rear battery bay panel. May exhibit erratic behavior if used with a low battery.

Kiri's Wiring Bypass Kit

Have you ever been stuck in Hell because you accidentally blew up a switch to an important locked door?

Couldn't leave the UAC HQ after giving your two weeks in the form of too much heavy ordnance, because you broke the elevator?

Can't make it through that broken teleporter to the sweet, sweet freedom of the end of the level?

Well, have I got the solution for YOU!

Kiri's Discount Wiring Bypass Kit!

Temporarily restore power to broken electronics (or creepy hellish teleporter alien magic things) with this handy dandy kit.

Just use this stud finder Wiring Fault Detection Unit to find the location of a broken linedef internal mechanism, and use the accompanying TURBO WIRE CUTTER 9000 brand wire strippers, along with a standard battery, some electrical tape, some wire, and flagrant disregard for personal safety, and you can make that broken teleporter into your very own teleporter accident functioning teleporter!

(Batteries NOT included.)

How to use

Loadout code: jmp

Use the Wiring Bypass Kit item as an inventory item. Approach a broken switch, teleporter, or other mechanism, and aim the device at the area of the breakage. It may take a moment to find a repairable fault.

The Wiring Fault Detection Unit has three LEDs indicating the detection status:

• Red: There is a broken mechanism, that can be repaired.
• Green: Everything is functioning as implemented.
• Yellow: Not close enough to make a determination. Approach the mechanism.

The LCD indicator can detect the exact nature of the faulty mechanism. See appendix D for a list of codes.

Once a faulty mechanism has been located, you may attach (Fire) a charged battery to the mechanism to temporarily restore some functionality to it.

Note: Some mechanisms cannot be repaired through simple wiring bypass, such as doors or elevators, if the damage is on the mechanism itself, instead of a switch or other remote activator.

TODO: Remove any language not corporate-aligned, such as "teleporter accident", "mechanism", and "Green".

Appendix D

Appendix D is unavailable in the Kiri's Discount Wiring Bypass Kit manual. To obtain a copy of appendix D, please purchase a subscription to Kiri's Discount Wiring Bypass Kit: Professional Edition.